Random Question

Who would win in a fight: an army of vampires or an army of zombies?

Answers go in the comments section. Have fun!

Top Ten Stand-Ins for John McCain at Tonight's Debate

10. A cardboard cut-out of John McCain.

9. Sarah Palin (oooohh, that would be disastrous.)

8. Rush Limbaugh (do people still listen to this douche?)

7. Another Vietnam War POW (because that qualifies McCain to be president.)

6. A Ventriloquist. Is Howdy Doody still around? Someone call his agent, stat.

5. The Ex-Office Humpbacked Grinch.

4. Nothing for #4. Literally. The Empty Seat.

3. Curt Schilling.

2. Jeff Baker, the neo-con who brainwashed me into conservatism all those years.

1. A Rubber Chicken.

This world is way too small...

So I get an order for processing this afternoon from one of my colleagues. I looked at the name on the order and did a double take. Looked at the address on it, sure enough, that's got to be him.

I went over to my colleague who took the order and collected the information and said "This is too funny, you're joking with me right?"

He looked perplexed.

"See this address? This is where I went to college. And this name? He was one of my professors - Western Civilization, freshman year."

Now mind you, I didn't go to a large school, we only had about 1200 students maximum at any given time. But after 9 years of not hearing that name took me aback.

Another colleague had overheard this and said "Maybe you should 'lose' this order."

I said, "Well, he may have not have been my favorite teacher but he wasn't the worst one. I'll give him fair treatment."

Just another random chance meeting.

Just Because... More Distractions

Thanks to Claire for sharing this lovely little tidbit. Llama llama duck!

Love's not a competition, but I'm winning...

...at least I thought I was, but there's no way of knowing. -Kaiser Chiefs

Ok, so I've been sitting at a mediocre 65 friends on Facebook. For a LOOOONG time. Probably the better part of a month or so. About a month ago, The Girl was sitting pretty at about 30 friends.

Then IT happened.

She added her maiden name to her last name on her profile. How unfair and selfish!

She's steadily increased friends since then and caught up to me yesterday!

So what did I do?

I went out and sent out a shit ton of friend requests to people I knew, but didn't really know too well. I've already got 5 adds since yesterday.

Sometimes it pays to be shallow.

(I'm not usually this shallow, but it makes for a fun blog post! Please take this as tongue-in-cheek as a sign of our times!)

The Redbeard and Sierra Show, episode 1

First, read Jayne's post and her comments section. (Apologies to those who previously got a dead link before. The programmer has been sacked. Oh wait, I can't fire myself. --edited 7/24/08)

Second, watch this.

Monday Dance Video? & Elton John Day!!

Since I haven't really embarrassed myself yet here on this blog, I thought it was about high time that I did. Ok so I was bored today and saw Erika's vlog entries and her link to the news people doing dances, and I've been thinking about doing this one for some time, so here it is! If only I could dance as crazy as Aaron Behrens of Ghostland Observatory.

Also today is Elton John Day. We don't have tickets. Sold Out. But it's an outdoor concert at the fairgrounds, sometimes we can hear the concerts from our house a mile away. We need to do laundry anyway. Laundry place is right in front of the fairgrounds. So is McDonald's. So we walk from the laundromat over to McDonald's picnic tables and hear it for free.

The stage where Sir Reginald Dwight will be playing. (Actually, probably not, this is the second stage they have set up today for a country music festival.)



Local music store displaying Elton John's Red Yamaha Piano, valued at $80,000.



The store was closed so I took a picture from outside the window. I'll take a better one when the shop is open. It was a foggy rainy day Sunday when these were taken. It appears Elton brought the English weather with him.

Overheard this morning.

::in car commuting with carpooler KC::

::driving past a man picking something up out of a puddle::

KC: Someone lost their money and this guy's picking it up. Hope it was at least a 10 or something.
RB: Yeah, I don't think I'd stick my hand into a dank puddle for a dime.

::pause::

RB: DANK. I like that word too, it's just fun.
KC: That's some DANK shit, mayne.

::laughter ensues::

--------------

Office speak phrase of the day:

"Let's get all of our arrows pointing in the same direction."

You may now commence with the eye rolling.

The Email

I mentioned back in January that there were several n00bs and temps who are taking quality parking spaces. I don't really know most of them and I don't really care to know them to be completely honest. However everyone in my department (and our office location) received this lovely piece of spam that I wanted to share with you to be ridiculed.

It comes from our temp receptionist who we'll call LL (not Cool J, but about as dumb as Lindsay Lohan). She's in her 60s, has a huge hunchback, is about 4'10", is testy on the phones and with the rest of us regular employees, has the mind of a child and enjoys doing children's large piece 300-piece puzzles during her breaks.

So she sends us this juicy little morsel just inviting us to pounce:

I brought in puzzles so anyone who wanted to relax and to put them together could.

I would greatly appreciate it if the person who is tearing down the puzzles would not do so. Many staff members enjoy working on them during our lunches and breaks.

After I found one torn down early this morning and the pieces placed in the box, I put up a sign asking that the puzzles be left intact. Then I started it over again. When I went back this afternoon on my break, I found it torn down again. The puzzle pieces were placed back in the box. Please let us have our breaks as we wish.

Thank you.

Ok, it wasn't me who did it, but believe me I thought of doing it. Now she's just opened herself up for us smart-asses to fuck with her head. Only one person came forward and defended her, someone very nice. Aww isn't that sweet.

Happy Weekend! Here's the Friday video...

Just Ducky

In continuing with the post-Duck-Thursday festivities, I'm going to consult with my duck cliché book:



Someone said the secret word.

Like a duck in water.

Like water off a duck's back.

Nice weather, for a duck.

Would you like a quacker?

Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Cockle-doodle-doo. (Captain Feathersword's favorite song)

Have a quackin' good weekend!

Ring a Ding Ding!

http://devel.dailyecho.co.uk/news/latest/display.var.1898614.0.compromise_on_lollipop_ladys_fancy_dress_ban.php

No Teeth and Tongues

This is something I've noticed with old people who have no teeth from an early age. They are constantly sticking their tongues out and contorting their face like a pile of retards. Why is this? Just because they can? Is there some freakish satisfaction out of this? Are they trying to be like the 'cool geezers'?

"You have to be Catholic to be a nun."

Leave it to my wife to come up with such Joe Morgan-esque brilliance. We were talking about something, I can't remember what exactly, and she said that to create some sort of expression. I thought maybe she was taking the piss for a second, then I thought, well no s**t Sherlock, and we both ended up having a laugh. We had some great moments that we haven't had for a while, and now she's taken to calling the red beard "Pepperoni" and that gets me giggling.

The kibbe was good. It's not so much spicy as it has the herbs in it that makes it safe to eat raw ground meat. But I missed the toom, they didn't make any this time but it was ok with just the olive oil.

I watched 4 movies over the weekend, and I've reviewed them out of 5 stars:

Afraid of the Dark: 1.5 stars
The Winter Guest: 4 stars
Meet the Robinsons: 3 stars
Deck the Halls: 2 stars

Well, it's Monday, very busy work day so it's a shorty today.

This is how we do

What? 3 posts, three days in a row? This must be some kind of miracle, sign from the heavens, or desperate times calling for desperate measures. Not that I have a whole lot of free time between work and family, but given the occasion I will blog. Not that anyone is reading but at least for my own satisfaction, and hopefully readers will come.

So this goes out to my boy Blue. You know who you are, and if you are reading this Blue or if you know Blue, you are welcome back to the fold anytime. Do what you must, and happy and safe journeys on your way if we are not to cross paths again. But we will be waiting for the prodigal son to return.

Go Sox tonight! I'll be finishing my Manny being Merlot tonight, and possibly be picking up another bottle, maybe Caberknuckle, for Game 7 tomorrow.