13 March 2008

Hold On

I could see the terror in its eyes, begging pleadingly not to die. As I applied my foot to the brake, I did with such fervor and gusto like never before. Tires squealed and the vehicle skidded slightly askew. There it was, in the middle of my travelling lane. It had jumped from the snowbank over the rail onto the frozen asphalt.


I got the car up to 50 after passing through the village and entering into the countryside once again. Up ahead just on the right were three wild turkeys just hanging out on a snowbank on the side of the road. One either brave or stupid turkey which was of good solid size decided to challenge my brakes. This was the eventful part of my commute this morning.


Ted D said...

Maybe it was a terrorist turkey, determined to take you out with him?

Nice driving skills to avoid it; you made Bo Duke proud!

Redbeard76 said...

A suicidal bird indeed.

::tries to slide across hood of the car, rolls clumsily onto the ground::

Ted D said...

::helps Redbeard to his feet::

Now, yell "Yee Haw" three times and it'll be all right.

~**Dawn**~ said...

There used to be wild turkeys that lived near my grandparents' house. Those things are nervy! They will stand in the middle of the road & stare you down, challenging you to some kind of duel over road ownership. And then you slam on your brakes & they just take their sweet time getting out of your way. Reminding you just who is in charge.

Down here we have armadillos. And I am sorry to say that when your car runs over one because they panic & at the worst possible moment try to change their minds and double back... they make a horrible clunking sound. Makes you feel like you're losing vital parts to your vehicle.

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Hitler would never harm an animal.

Redbeard76 said...

What if the turkey was a Jew?

cake said...

I don't think we have turkeys here...though we have plenty of suicidal outdoor cats in my neighbourhood. I see near-misses almost every day on way to or from work...*shiver*

David'Z RantZ said...

Damn. Until you told us about the turkeys, I thought that it was Jayne's new rug that had jumped into the road.

Sparkle Plenty said...

DAMN! David'z Rantz beat me to that comment! Infidel!

David'Z RantZ said...

Redbeard: Seriously? Nope, it wasn't "bad" at all; I didn't know where you were going with it.

Super-Cool-Plus Sparkle Plenty: HA! Now we're even for that whole "Who came up with the 1950s-themed blog first?" thing.

Redbeard (again!): By the way, thanks to you, I can't get the Herman's Hermits song "Hold On" out of my mind.

bacon ace said...

So wait did you hit it or not? If not then I'll let slide that your post didn't come with photos.

Jayne said...

I thought it was my new rug too!!
I had to run to the kitchen to check it was still there. I was about to call you a rug murderer.

Did the turkey become roast turkey?

Redbeard76 said...

The turkey... lived. If I knew it wouldn't do any damage to my car I probably wouldn't have bothered to slow down. And as much as I love turkey, I hate cooking it, it's such a pain. Unlike Jed, I'm not one to turkeyjack or any other kind of wild-animal-jack.

Anonymous said...

Dear Redbeard,

Here, in the U.K., we recently had a T.V. documentary programme, featuring people who are eccentric.

The programme in question, was about a man who regularly went out in his car, searching for road kill.

He had a large chest freezer, carefully packed with, squashed badger, squashed cats, even a squashed owl!!

He was interviewed, about his strange habits, whilst happily consuming his squashed meal.

It made disgusting but compulsive viewing.

P.S. His wife is a vegeterian.

Hope I did not put anyone off their food.
I'm just off to eat my lunch now.

Jayne's mum xxx

Redbeard76 said...

Ha! Very funny Jayne's mum! I bet they didn't show that on the Beeb. Oh no. To channel 4 or ITV with that.

Anonymous said...

This was a BBC2 broadcast.
I kid you not.

Love, Jayne's Mum.

Redbeard76 said...

::falls down from shock::

Jayne said...

Ignore my Mother, I'm waiting for the Friday song.

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