04 March 2008

Advice Time: Don't Take the Free Stuff

Just trust me on this. You need to resist. Don't do it. You'll be sorry.

So I come into work this morning, put my lunch in the fridge.

What's this I see? A Fruit2O with a sign saying 'For Anyone'.

I pick it up - it's Tropical Serenity flavor. Whatever that is.

I open the top, take a swig, I can barely get it down.

"This is horse piss" is the first thing that came out of my mouth, like a reflex.

I proceed to dump it and recycle the bottle because that's about all it's good for.

So the next time you see something for free or for anyone, let the other guy take it. You don't want it. Trust me on this one.

14 comments:

cake said...

What if the free stuff was...GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!

Lois Lane said...

::puts "Free!" sign on piece of month old Hobbit house cake, leaves it outside of blog door::

Jayne said...

..Mmmmmm Hobbit cake....

* Jayne runs of with cake in glee *

Jayne said...

*jayne throws up, and puts the cake back*

Ted D said...

//I open the top, take a swig, I can barely get it down.//

::twitches::

My OCD will not process this, Stephen.

::resumes twitching::

Tex said...

free always comes with a price

Jayne said...

Hang on.... I'm waiting for the premiere tomorrow... I'm still deciding what to wear. I hope the red carpet has been cleaned for all of us. It is still stained from the Oscar's last week. Those filthy actors....

Jayne said...

Oh wait... it is in April the premier. I'm too early for everything...

Ignore me.

Redbeard76 said...

Yes, her birthday is April 6.

When Jess went into labor is was in the morning of April 5, so we thought her birthday initially would be 4/5/6 (by American datestamp standards - of course this doesn't work in the rest of the world where it would be 5/4/6). But she wasn't born until 3:57am on the 6th (357 magnum is how i remember it) by c-section. it was the longest day of our lives.

There's still another bottle of Veryfine Fruit2O Tropical Serenity in the fridge if anyone wants one. For anyone. Free of charge.

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) Tropical Serenity: Neither tropical nor serene.
2) DUDE! Is everyone really, really happy and really, really sane at your job? If not, I would just never touch a bottle that says "For Anyone."

~**Dawn**~ said...

There is always a reason it's free, and that is not a gamble I am willing to make. I mean maybe someone is just *that* nice but more than likely whatever they are offering is either gross, spoiled or in some way... tainted. I can't take the risk.

I have to ask though. What the heck kind of name is "Tropical Serenity"?? It sounds like a lotion or candle name.

Redbeard76 said...

Exactly my point Dawn. You certainly have your finger on the button. It was just funny to me how i didn't even have to think about it, "this is horse piss" just came out as a natural reaction.

Tropical Serenity, now with Splenda! Splenda, from the creators of Hades and Cold Pricklies.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Note to self: Do not attempt the read this blog before swalloing of beverage in mouth. Chocking hazard. Headlines to read: Girl literally dies of laughter.

Artificial sweeteners are the work of the devil. That bit about Splenda darn near made me drown on a mouthful of water, as girls cannot safely breathe water liek fish do. Just give me my real sugar & let's call it a day.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Dear God. Where did I learn to type? That would be 'swallowing' and 'choking' and 'like'. If it were, you know, in ENGLISH. ::shakes head::

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