Chinese Delivery Capers

This next story nearly put me off Chinese food delivery, but damn if it wasn't so tasty, I think I could resist.

We have loads of Chinese take out in our town, I think we've got the highest per capita considering it's a small village of 8000 people with a surrounding town equal in population. At the time, I think there were at least 5 to choose from that service our small town (and foreigners wonder why Americans are so overweight).

This particular one, let's call them M's, still has some other satellite locations in the area (I wouldn't want to commit libel), but I read not too long ago that they had to shut down their business. They were harboring immigrants (maybe illegal) and housing them in appalling and squalor conditions in a cramped apartment in the rear of the restaurant (if you can call it that).

So M's is the only one of these 5 purveyors of fried noodles that delivers in my town. Me, being the lazy bastard that I am, decided to order from M's, with full knowledge that the majority of their food is sitting in warmers for god knows how long, not freshly made upon order.

So I call in my order.

M's: Hello M's, can you hold please?
Me: Sure.
::wait a few seconds::

::hears toilet flushing::

M's: Thanks for holding, can I take your order?

I should have ended the call right there.

First offense? Taking the phone into the bathroom.

Second offense? Allowing me to hear the toilet flush.

Third offense? Apparently not washing hands, as I didn't hear a sink running.

But like the lazy bastard that I am, I continued with the order. Dammit I was hungry, I won't let a few germs from an unwashed Chinese man slow me down. Of course the food was crap (not literally) when I got it, but I think it was then that I vowed never to order from M's, no matter how hungry I was.